Newsletter Section
December 2017
Welcome to the Rainbow Caregivers Network. I’m so glad you could join
us!
As 2017 comes to a close I have the opportunity to reflect on the
changes that have happened in my life over the past year. So many new
friends and colleagues, so much joy, and a little bit of sorrow. But in
the end one word comes to mind: BEGINNINGS.
When our son came out in August of 2016 my (cis-gender-heterosexual)
partner and I had no idea what that meant. We had no context for raising
a transgender child. We didn’t know what that meant for us or for him,
and we certainly weren’t aware of any transgender people in our
community. Then in September of this year our daughter came out as
pansexual. We were lucky. We met people locally who were knowledgeable,
connected, and willing to share their experiences and expertise so we
could best care for our amazing kids. It really does take a village to
raise a child, and we are incredibly grateful to live in a community
where there is so much support.
In the beginning that support was hard to find. When I was searching for
peer support for my son I decided that I needed help too. I needed to be
able to share my fears and failures with people who had gone before me.
I needed to ask questions and find resources so that I could provide the
kind of supportive care my son needed. Unfortunately, there was very
little for me.
Once I had done the hard work of getting school support and medical and
mental health care for my boy, and after I had learned a ton of
information, I took on the task of making sure no other parent had to
work that hard to find resources. With the help of Sara, we started the
Rainbow Caregivers Network as a way to connect with other parents who
might be having the same struggle, and who might need to talk it out
with someone who had experienced the same thing. Since June of 2017 we
have met some wonderful parents who share our journey. We have held each
other up in the hard times, and celebrated successes with each other.
We have been overwhelmed by the support of agencies and individuals who
have given us so much.
First, we found Stacey at TransForum Quinte. She took the time to
understand our needs and she has been an invaluable resource for our
family. Through Stacey we have connected with so many other wonderful
people. Without her we might still be floundering! Thank you, Stacey!!
Stacey directed us to the SayOUTLoud group in Belleville. It’s a peer
support group for LGBTQ youth. It has been run for over 20 years by a
fellow named Eric Hargreaves. Never in my life, and that is not an
understatement, have I met a person so generous of their person as Eric.
He took an amazing amount of time to talk to us about what our needs
were, and to make sure we got the support we needed for our son. Eric
spends countless hours every week connecting with people from many
different generations and backgrounds to ensure a more inclusive culture
for everyone. Eric, you have been my rock this year. I am forever
indebted to you; I am a better person because of you.
When Sara and I had the idea to form this group we needed a place to
meet in. Sandie Sidsworth, Executive Director of CMHA-Hastings and
Prince Edward Counties didn’t hesitate to make sure we had a place to
start. Sandie gave us the tools we needed to found a peer support group,
and offered advice on making it work. Without Sandie we would never have
existed in the first place, and I am incredibly grateful to have been
mentored by such an amazing person.
Next, we met Dr. Andrew Moss and Andy Siddell. Andrew helped us to
become more understanding parents and helped our son to be a stronger
more resilient person. Andrew, you literally changed our life. Together
with Andrew, Andy has been responsible for getting us a new home at the
Priory Wellness Center. Andy singlehandedly created our website, and has
been a constant source of support for the “day to day” running of this
group. Thank you both for your immense generosity and kindness.
Looking back, 2017 was a year of beginnings. Now I’m looking ahead to
the new year. When I think of a word to describe my hope for 2018
“PROGRESS” springs to mind. We are going to continue to offer the peer
support we were established for, but we’re also going to strive to build
a strong base of allies for the LGBTQ community in the Quinte area.
We’re going to continue to provide resources and connections with each
other, and build capacity locally. Mostly we’re excited to meet you!
Please connect with us. You are always welcome!
Jackie Dales, RN, BScN (she/her)
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